Is it normal when TTC (trying to conceive) to be jealous of pregnancy posts on social media? Is it normal to read you BBT (basal body temp) and charts like it's the morning news? Is it normal to be afraid to hold new babies because you're scared it will make you realize how much you want your own? Is it normal to be "in your feelings" when you get yet another baby shower invite from a friend? Is it normal to burst into tears in the middle of a clothing store when your friend asks if you're trying? Honestly, it can't be a social norm. Yet I'm finding it to be my new normal.
I promise you, reader, that I am elated for my friends and family who are expecting. I love hearing about their pregnancies, birth plans, and experiences. I love to pick out a special gift for the sweet new life joining this world and send it ahead of the shower. However, I'm having a hard time reconciling my happiness for them with the internal dissatisfaction that comes along with infertility. I do accept the fact that it hasn't happened for us yet and I remain hopeful that in the future it does. Until then I may remain at a distance from those happy events. I hope that it doesn't make me seem selfish or like a horrible friend. It's just that I never know how my heart may betray me at these things.
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AuthorChelsea is a 28 year old operations manager. A Tennessee native she currently lives in the Peace Garden State of North Dakota. Chelsea and her husband are the loving parents of their two little dogs & a cat. In her free time she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and camping. Archives |