hello readers!
If we are being honest 2020 has been collectively unkind to everyone. I'm trying to treat everyone - myself included - with a little bit of grace. Navigating everyday life prior to Covid-19 was already incredibly tough. Now none of us really know what we're doing in these unprecedented times. How are we, the everyday person, to know what's going on when even the experts don't agree with one another on the best course of action? In my opinion everyone is doing and has been doing the best they can with the information provided. People at their core are inherently good beings and for me that's enough to give me faith. Aside from the normal 2020 disarray, the MacIntosh clan is gearing up for a cross country move to Idaho. Our home has been on the market for what seems like forever but I foresee a sale on the horizon. We still haven't received a visit from the stork but there's no time like the present to seek medical intervention and see how we can move that process along. I left my long time position at the bank right before Corona struck and that has made my transition into insurance more than interesting. My husband took a job with a fire department in Idaho and we've been doing married life long distance. We'll be coming back together in the next week and I am looking forward to that immensely. This new Idaho journey will give me lots of writing material and for that too I am thankful.
0 Comments
Is it normal when TTC (trying to conceive) to be jealous of pregnancy posts on social media? Is it normal to read you BBT (basal body temp) and charts like it's the morning news? Is it normal to be afraid to hold new babies because you're scared it will make you realize how much you want your own? Is it normal to be "in your feelings" when you get yet another baby shower invite from a friend? Is it normal to burst into tears in the middle of a clothing store when your friend asks if you're trying? Honestly, it can't be a social norm. Yet I'm finding it to be my new normal.
I promise you, reader, that I am elated for my friends and family who are expecting. I love hearing about their pregnancies, birth plans, and experiences. I love to pick out a special gift for the sweet new life joining this world and send it ahead of the shower. However, I'm having a hard time reconciling my happiness for them with the internal dissatisfaction that comes along with infertility. I do accept the fact that it hasn't happened for us yet and I remain hopeful that in the future it does. Until then I may remain at a distance from those happy events. I hope that it doesn't make me seem selfish or like a horrible friend. It's just that I never know how my heart may betray me at these things. |
AuthorChelsea is a 28 year old operations manager. A Tennessee native she currently lives in the Peace Garden State of North Dakota. Chelsea and her husband are the loving parents of their two little dogs & a cat. In her free time she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and camping. Archives |